It’s time for Kpopalypse roundup! Let’s take a look at some new releases!
Stray Kids – Run It
Running what, exactly? Running at the mouth? Running on empty? Running ragged? Run it’s course? Run down? When I was young my mother, because she was a very polite sort, called diarrhoea “the runs”, maybe that’s what they’re referring to here.
ATEEZ – Bad
Accurate song title of the week.
AtHeart – Say It
Okay so it’s a lyrically sanitised version of The Cardigans’ “Lovefool” with a bit more pace and the shitty buzzsaw guitar removed, and those are both improvements, but the original was honestly just kind of grating and thanks to relying on the same hooks, this isn’t actually that much better.
CLASSy – Tear Drop
CLASSy are on K-Tigers label now and it seems to have done them a world of good. I’m not blown away by this but it’s solidly above average, like some of H1-key’s songs but slowed down.
Dodree – Hawwah
The screechy pansori vocals are down to a dull roar here, meanwhile the ambience has been turned up and the results are actually really good. Finally someone gets this type of music the right way around.
HEART OF WOMAN – ($.$)
Heart Of Woman started off great but their company’s mistake is thinking that every single filler album track of theirs is actually worthy of a music video.
V8 – Singasong
It’s like the vocals and the synths are in a competition to see who can be the most annoying. It’s close but I think the synths win.
PRIMROSE – Cosmic
A promising beat but the R&B nonsense enters quick and doesn’t leave.
Cosmosy – Paradise ~ I need you ~
Someone told me that Cosmosy finally have a good song that’s worthy of roundup inclusion and… sorry, not even close. Putting it here anyway just as your regular reminder that this group have been so disappointing that I’ve just been flat-out ignoring half of what they do because I’m feeling too charitable to even shit on them I guess, I dunno.
HITGS – Little By Little
Not a bad song at all. Sure the AI slop video looks godawful but when it’s broke groups doing this it’s more forgivable because seriously what are their other options to compete at this point. The AAA groups are all doing it now, and an AAA group and a Z tier group using the same slop machine looks about the same, so what better way to level the playing field? All aboard the slop train, don’t worry the poors don’t need water…
Hwina – Would you hear me out?
Hwina smashed through the Kpopalypse favourites list in 2025 but there’s not much hope of a repeat performance this year with songs this bland.
Yeojin – Red Hot Chili Summer
Yeojin is certainly the wrong fit visually for this type of concept, with that death-glare of hers constantly seeping out in between the forced aegyo, but the song’s not bad if a little unspectacular.
UDTT – Viper
If only Hwayoung had chomped on that girl, maybe this horrible song wouldn’t have started. In the words of Patrick Bateman, “don’t just stare at it – eat it!”
BOYNEXTDOOR – Adios
This is pretty good actually, but I was still more amused by one of the boys lighting a couch on fire with his own farts than the song itself.
NEXZ – Hellmate
More like “hellscape”. The awful random pink fruit loops AI background is going to be the setting for horror films in 50 years. Or maybe 10 years. Or maybe right now.
M.O.N.T – Run
I’m not impressed with the driving through the city streets, why not drive that car through the DMZ and show how patriotic you are, you can do it boys.
AxMxP – 24 Hours
Coffee shop music except instead of the coffee shop it’s the convenience store.
Hi-Fi Un!corn – Why
This group again with their weekly song. It’s like Heart Of Woman except that this is like their 30th in a row. Why, indeed.
Vayoon – Watta Day
“Watta day” is what I say to myself every week after finishing writing roundup.
IDID – Attent!on
Bland as all hell.
Nyxie – Hit Ya
The sort of song that I’d normally slot straight into nugu alert but wait, this thing has over 100k views already? Who is watching this? There’s also no comments at all? This got me curious so I checked out their YouTube channel “world angel peace” which has some videos with millions of views on them, but no comments, even on the videos where leaving comments is allowed. Just think, if they didn’t pay for all those views they could have gotten a Kpopalypse Nugu Alert feature, which let’s face it would give them way more exposure…
from20 – Big Boy
Okay this is really good. Plus I support the message. And what a thumbnail! Definitely a home run just for the concept.
Kisu – Whale in the Day
This is SM-related with less than 2k views? Guess the Kwangya robots went on strike. What the hell happened to Kwangya anyway? Why doesn’t SM talk about it anymore? Could it be that SM realised the concept was embarrassingly shit? Let’s hope that make that realisation with AI visual effects one day.
OYSTERS – FATPIG
There’s not much to this song, and the pig-mask gimmick sure is lame, but what a riff!
1300 – Clear Out The Room
Hey, I liked the “Pong” noises. That’s something.
U Sung Eun – Glowing
Nobody reads the ballad reviews this far down in roundup. I think U Sung Eun would be a good pegging candidate, as I mentioned in my cookie policy post. I think that her and Yoyomi are the top contenders… but there’s room for more! Once I have enough it might be worthy of a list post.
Lubricated Goat – In The Raw
Here’s this week’s random non-Korean pick. Remember that Korean punk group called Rux (who were pretty good actually) who exposed themselves on Korean live TV and it had such a huge impact that it sent the entire country down the conservative rabbit-hole of soppy shit ballads and coffee-shop crap for the next 30 years and they’re still mainlining copium to this day? Well, Lubricated Goat paved the fuckin’ way on that one, except that they did it in Australia so instead of complaining we just laughed and called them a bunch of cunts and probably bought them a beer.
RANDOM BONUS VIDEOS OF THE WEEK
MissWeiWei – Lisa Has LOST HER MIND… and her pants too?
At just over three minutes in this woman says “let’s quit the yapping” and then she still finds a way to fucking yap on for another 27 more minutes just because Lisa flashed some ass meat and it got her a bit hot under the collar. I’ll save you the trouble of sitting through her rant – she’s one of those annoying Christians who has to mention that she’s Christian every ten minutes in the hope of scoring a conversion and some extra Reddit points with the man upstairs so her conclusion in this video is (of course) that Lisa needs to tone down the glute-shaking and find god because she’s showing a bit too much skin and she’s overly commercialised in a commercial industry and how dare she do that and did Jesus turn over the tables of the money-lenders in the temple (Matthew 21:12) for nothing and… okay she didn’t say that last bit but she might as well have. At 18:19 she even tells a story about how she pushed one of her own friends towards religion a bit more and pats herself on the back for it, holy moly, even Eunice wasn’t this bad. Anyway if you were searching for some more reasons to support Lisa here’s one.
Wild Wild – “Bong” official trailer
Hopefully we get a full video for the song here but I don’t think we will so this thing goes here because it’s more of an ad for their strip show than anything musical. Seems like some good wholesome fun times, perhaps MissWeiWei should go and check it out, she might awaken to the virtues of glutes and find a god of a different sort.
Sue – Someday
It’s still Pride Month so here’s Sue, Korea’s first lesbian duo… except they weren’t really lesbian, it was just all a bit of BGP. These girls pre-dated… sorry, I mean PAVED THE WAY for Russian duo t.A.T.u. to later bring lesbian BGP to a worldwide audience. Just like that group, you can smell the BGP a mile away, because Sue presents so much like a straight male fantasy version of what lesbianism actually looks like, or maybe it doesn’t, I don’t know. I’ll let my lesbian readers throw down on that one, but it sure looks fake-ass to me. Anyway this group didn’t last long because their music was pretty drastically bad… oh who am I kidding, music quality doesn’t matter, people just didn’t like the marketing.
That’s all for this week! Kpopalypse roundup returns next week!
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