Ticker

6/recent/ticker-posts

Header Ads Widget

The Kpopalypse 2026 bias list

It’s time to update the Kpopalypse bias list for 2026!  Let’s take a look at who Kpopalypse is biasing this year!

Regular Kpopalypse readers have all probably either participated in or at the very least read the results of the objectification surveys – but I do not participate in those myself other than to count your votes and write about them, so they are not reflective of the opinion of Kpopalypse, but the reader base (and wherever the reader base deems to spread the voting questions). However, the Kpopalypse bias list is 100% all about my opinion and nothing else. Note that this is a list of pure “meeting required standards” only, and therefore is roughly analogous to the “most attractive” segment of the objectification survey, although aspects other than raw physical appearance are a factor, because attractiveness isn’t just about appearance, after all.

Know that the Kpopalypse bias list is always in a state of flux and receives consistent updates, as new people become a k-pop and are thus eligible, while others stop being a k-pop and are therefore no longer eligible.  Furthermore, k-poppers may come to the attention of myself through various activities, and others who have been less active may begin to be prioritised lower as they cease to provide “material”.  Let’s now check out 2026’s Kpopalypse bias list!


*

THE KPOPALYPSE 2026 BIAS LIST

*

#1 – CHODAN – QWER

Chodan is #1 this year, not because she’s a feminist (although she is), or because she’s attractive (she’s that, too) or BADING (highly likely) but because she’s given us footage of a Korean idol first – she beats up her own CEO (from 2:09). She’s living the dream of every k-pop idol group member, and even better, filming it for all of us to see! This feels like fanservice directed at me specifically, so I have to reward this effort. Who else could give us footage like this. I feel like everything I’ve ever written on this website has culminated in this one highly symbolic moment. It’s all downhill from here.

#2 – SUHYUN – AKMU

How good does Suhyun look here? Better than your bias, for sure. It must be because AKMU left YG, I’ve heard that contractual freedom does wonders for the complexion. It’s good to see her actually touching grass again and enjoying life after spending a year locked in her bedroom being hardstuck silver in League Of Legends.

#3 – EUNHA – VIVIZ

Eunha gets demoted this year for not really doing jack shit of anything. This isn’t her fault of course but the faults of her scam agency doing basically anything at all except paying their artists. But then what else is new? If she’d only done a Chodan on the CEO and filmed it she could have retained her #1 spot. We hope for more Eunha activity on her new label soon.

#4 – AWON – ALICE SYNDROME

When Alice Syndrome appeared, many people naturally assumed that I’d like the bass player (pictured in the thumbnail) presumably because of her figure but no, Awon the guitar player is carrying the visuals in this group. She can actually play decently too, check out some of this group’s live footage where she confidently goes off-script with some of those solos. She’s like AOA’s Jimin if she actually realised her rock dreams and ripped on the guitar for real instead of posing out and saying “hey” a lot. Or maybe I’m just biasing that instrument of hers, it’s difficult to tell. Not that I’d recommend the Guild Surfliner Deluxe as a reliable touring instrument (too many hardware issues) but it sure looks great on her and if you’re someone who is having trouble attracting the man or woman of your dreams, I think playing this guitar in public would go a long way towards rectifying that. Or at least it might get you on a stupid list like this one.

#5 – UMJI – VIVIZ

Hey according to this video Umji is the most biased member of Viviz by the general Viviz-liking population. Maybe she’d be the most biased member by Kpopalypse too if she picked up the guitar and learned how to do solos, her notoriously big brain should be able to handle that. I know I’m yapping on a lot about guitars in this post, and I will continue to, because you shouldn’t underestimate the sex appeal of a good guitar, and guitar music is generally better than 99% of stupid k-pop anyway.

#6 – ZZONE/JEEWON

So continuing on, the Stratocaster-shaped guitar here is the PRS Silver Sky, which is that company’s take on the Fender Stratocaster. This thing has been controversial because it comes with features that the Strat doesn’t have (like locking tuners, vintage neck radius and comfort cutaways at all price points) and the pickups aren’t as harsh as the notorious Fender “ice-pick” tone so a lot of discerning guitarists (like Jeewon) are actually preferring the PRS. This guitar is what’s probably prompting Fender’s recent cease-and-desist frenzy regarding the Strat “S-shape” guitar body, because they can’t handle it that another company came up with a better Strat than they did and it’s easier for them to try and shut down the competition than lift their own shoddy manufacturing game. Sorry everyone I promise I’ll stop talking about guitars and get back to being a pervert in a second.

#7 – JEONGYEON – TWICE

Jeongyeon is and always was the most attractive Twice member. Apparently she didn’t sign a new contract with JYP this year and it’s little wonder given that they give her rubbish outfits at least 50% of the time, but hey if they don’t dress her down how the hell are the other eight supposed to compete? They’re just trying to level the playing field and stop dorm fights before they start. Jeongyeon doing more peacekeeping than the UN, because if she busted out her full visual potential people just couldn’t handle it.

 #8 – CHUU

Chuu is great of course because not only is she an attractive person but her personality resembles every girlfriend that I’ve ever had ever in some form. The amount of times I’ve crushed on lesbians in the past is pretty high, but aside from that every woman who has taken even a slight interest in me has had some degree of the “Chuu energy”. I’ve noticed in this video in particular that she’s got a bit of a double-chin going on, which just makes her even hotter, because I’m part-German and we’re all cursed with double-chins, it’s the one area we genetically can’t lose weight on no matter how skinny we get. “Master race” my ass.

#9 – EUNJUNG – T-ARA

Have you seen T-ara perform live in 2026? They don’t give a flying fuck anymore, either miming or flat-out skipping the parts 98% of the time and exhibiting a pure laziness with dance routines that would make Blackpink’s Jennie seem like the hardest working performer in k-pop. Of course Eunjung looks the best out of all of them, because she always did, but it’s even more obvious now how much classiness and sexiness (but not classy-sexiness, to be clear) she exudes.

#10 – LIZ – IVE

Apropos Deutsche, ich muss natürlich meine deutschen Mitbürger unterstützen, indem ich Liz auf diese Liste setze. Abgesehen davon hat sie den Look von “Rebel Heart” besser gerockt als jedes andere IVE-Mitglied (wie im obigen Video gezeigt), und da das ein großartiger Song ist, reicht das schon aus, um ein paar Jahre Voreingenommenheit durch Kpopalypse zu garantieren.

#11 – LEE HI

What a fucking blatant despicable pervert Dok2 is. I have to give him a shout out for making about 80% of his music video output these days nothing but him following around his wife with a handicam, because he’s definitely forcing me to notice that she’s looking great these days. You can file Lee Hi next to Suhyun as another ex-YG performer whose appearance instantly improved as soon as she got out of there, gosh what a coincidence, I’m sure there’s no particular reason for this.

#12 – ALEXA

Alexa should have really taken off in Korea a lot more than she did, but sadly she’s just one of many casualties of extreme mismanagement in the k-pop space. She looks pretty good in these Kpop Demon Hunters cosplays though, she nails Rumi as well as when she did Jinx from a couple years back. No wonder she’s so pissed at her old label, I feel like they had to be on the next level of promotional incompetence to fumble the bag with Alexa so drastically. I mean sure most of her early songs were mid but since when has that been a barrier to success, and she had everything else.

#13 – WINTER – AESPA

Winter’s been stepping out with some pretty wild guitars lately. It’s not that unusual for a Korean girl group member to occasionally strap on a guitar for the rock cred, but this guitar here is a Jackson Kelly Performer which is generally for metalheads only so this means Winter is not only pretty but probably has great music taste too. Look at how she’s customised this thing, she clearly loves it which means this is likely to be her own personal guitar and not something that SM just handed to her because they thought it matched her jawline (although it does). Okay so her playing isn’t really above intermediate level but that just makes her hotter because she’s like that girl you dated in high school who had a guitar in the corner of her room and you didn’t even know she could play and she says that she does play kinda but when you ask her to play in front of you she won’t because she’s self-conscious about it and doesn’t want to embarrass herself. Nostalgic.

#14 – LEESEUL – ROCKIT GIRL

Although aegyo and flirtatiousness for Leeseul seems to be like breathing in air, I think she looks even better when she’s not pandering to the camera, like in this military song where there’s the odd two second snatches here and there of her trying to look all serious and shit. Who knew she had it in her?

#15 – ANNIE – ALLDAY PROJECT

Okay okay, Annie’s not really my type, but I’m a bit poor (which is why you haven’t been getting k-pop concert reviews) and nobody’s been taking up my fellatio offers so I’m not above putting nepo babies in this list in order to correct my financial situation. So Annie, how are you holding for cash? Because I’m a bit bloody broke. You could get even higher in this list if you wanted. Since your group is getting a pretty lukewarm reception, I think that a bit of stanning by an underdog website like this one could be just the thing you need to show that you really understand the little people. Ko-fi here if you want to donate, or buy a book if you like, I promise they’re interesting reading and won’t remind you of anything in particular.

#16 – MIN HEE JIN

Speaking of financial struggles, I won’t extend that same offer to the most attractive member of NewJeans aka Min Hee Jin given that she’s probably now deep into debt from loans to continue her HYBE court battles. I don’t think she anticipated the extent that HYBE could just laugh in her face and bury her in endless paperwork. Save your money girl, you’ll need it for those legal fees. Anyway here’s a video explaining how she doesn’t suck at her job… or at least her ex-job, but it has lots of footage of her and that’s the important thing.

#17 – YOUHA

It’s crazy how both attractive and completely slept-on Youha is. I mean that’s partly her fault these days given her very recent obsession with shithouse Autotuned warbling, but there was a time not so long ago when her new songs were absolutely great. Even the recent Borderlands collab she did couldn’t make people give a shit (although that’s probably just because nobody gives a shit about the recent Borderlands). Just shows the power of labels and promotion to make or break someone’s career.

#18 – KARINA – AESPA

Not long ago a reader mentioned on my ask thingy that Karina had low-set boobs and thanked me for using a picture of her low-set boobs in my boobs objectification survey results, because as a person who had similarly low-set boobs she felt represented. Which just goes to show how even though the TikTok braindeads whinge about them, those surveys really do support women where it really matters. While I do enjoy the body-positivity vibes and I’m glad that the reader felt good about this, I actually just used the picture because I sincerely think she looks great there, and so Karina deserves a place here in recognition of not just being attractive but also improving the lives and self-esteem of women with low-set boobs everywhere. (For those who want to see what I’m talking about more “directly”, I’d recommend Rika Tsubaki in JAV or Chloe Surreal in western AV, both of whom would definitely get on this list if they were a k-pop.)

#19 – ADORA/DJ SUKI

Did you know Adora is a DJ now? Thanks to the caonima who alerted me to what she had been doing lately. I was running out of spots to put either Adora or Cocona here, but I chose Adora because Cocona’s transition has been high-profile as fuck and you all know about it, whereas Adora just sort of silently dropped off most people’s radars. Not saying Adora has transitioned or anything, just that she could use the promo more. Also she’s DJing for real in all her YouTubes which is great, because there’s so many high-profile Korean DJs who just dance and pose a lot and don’t actually do the DJ thing all that well.

#20 – RAINA – AFTER SCHOOL/ORANGE CARAMEL

Here’s a video where Raina goes to some new-age bullshit session and dreams of AI slop pictures instead of the Orange Caramel reunion we all want. Anyway she looks great here, so cozy and comfortable, where do I sign up to become a new-age charlatan so I can get k-pops beating down my door.


That’s all for the 2026 Kpopalypse bias list! Kpopalypse will return!


Post a Comment

0 Comments